My momma is gone

For most of my almost 54 years my mom has been there.  More than 54 years when you factor in the 9 months I spent under her heart.

This morning she did not wake up.  Sometime in the night she slipped the bonds that had trapped her in a mind rapidly fading from Alzheimer’s.  To my mind, she found God’s grace.  I last spoke to her late yesterday afternoon, while I was over to supervise some repair work on the house.  She was in bed, quasi-asleep as many people with late stage Alzheimer’s can be.  I called her name, she opened her eyes and smiled, although I was not sure if she recognized me.

She leaves behind her husband of 57 years, four children, six grandchildren and one great-grandson, with two more great grandchildren on the way.  It was a long life, for the most part a good life.

Truth Telling

My mom has Alzheimer’s.

There I said it.  We dance around it, never admitting to the wider world what the problem is.  She has had it for at least 6- 8 years, probably longer.  And in that time I have watched the woman who taught me to bake, taught me to sew, supported me every time I stretched outside the box of convention and expectation disappear into the fog that is Alzheimer’s disease.

She knows who we are, her husband of 57 years, each of her children., not so much all of her grandchildren.   Her short term memory is gone.  Her long term is developing holes.  She only leaves the house for doctor appointments.  Her personal hygiene is pretty much non-exsistent.  Her caregiver team cannot force her to bath or change her clothes, my dad won’t support them when they try.  He doesn’t want to fight with his wife, he never has.  So I have fight a weekly battle to get her in the tub to bath and wash her hair.

The woman who managed the household, took care of the bookkeeping and bills slipped away several years ago.  I took over the checkbook for everything and the receipt book for the rentals.  I pay the bills, sort the mail and put her meds into the dispenser for the week.  I have fought with scammers who tried to leech onto them through their credit card.  I try to keep my dad from falling prey to them ones who call or show up in person.   I have learned to be a bitch on wheels, if needed.

But, a really big but, I refuse to do it all.  My sister Robin is my back up and I have pushed to homemaking chores off on somebody else, primarily her caregivers, but sometimes Robin. My BIL Doug took over mowing the grass when I went on vacation a couple of years ago and the rest of the family discovered just how much there was to do to keep them together in their house.

In the last two years she has been hospitalized twice, once from dehydration and a fall and once with a broken vertebrae from osteoporosis.   Both stays were followed up by weeks of rehab in a nursing home.  Each time we bring her home and we add hours to the caregiver team, trying to fulfill their wishes to keep her at home.  Currently she has help about 12 hours a day.  Dad wants to know when the ladies are leaving and is saddened when I tell him they are there until she goes back into a nursing home, dies or we run out of money.  He says that the whole thing is mentally exhausting.  I have told Robin that this is the last Christmas that I expect her to be at home.

What Happened?

What have I been doing for the last two months?  Well the wrist was achy so I sort of slowed up and let it heal a bit, mainly because I found it really annoying to try to work with yarn with a brace with velcro fasteners constantly grapping the yarn. 

Robin tried on her sweater in January and we discovered that the sleeves were way too long.  But we were at church and really didn't have the time to make a complete study of it's issues.  She tried it on again this week and it's too large all over, too long through the body, although the neck opening fits fine.  So off to the frog pond after some detailed measurements.  What seems to have happened is that the fabric relaxed and seriously grew when it was steamed blocked.  So, time to recalculate gauge and re-knit.  Sigh...

On the other hand I spent most of February amusing myself with the Rams and Yoowes blanket by Kate Davies.  Rather than the jumper weight Shetland, in natural colors, I went stash diving and found the hanks of DK natural colored Romney that I brought back from NZ about 10 years ago.  I have about 12 rows to go on the main part, then I can crochet the steek, cut it open and start adding the edging.  I steamed part of it last week and the fair isle completely relaxed, evened out and the hand of the fabric is almost velvety, compared to the rather crunchy feel of the yarn and unsteamed portion.  This yarn has a lot of lanolin still in it and smells rather sheepy, if you know what I mean. 

I also put the motifs into DAK, recolored them for baby yarns, and swatched them on the machine using double bed jacquard to eliminate/conceal my floats.   This going to be so cute.

I did finish the neckband for the kimono, spent most of the evening trying to remember how to graft garter stitch it attach the second hem and am in the process of attaching it to the body.  Then weave in the ends and give it to Barb for her birthday.

Enough writing back to the crochet hook.

I Wondered

Why I didn't have a copy of my natural gas bill when I went to pay the bills last week.  I had to call and ask for a statement.  The copy arrived yesterday and showed that I had apparently used 917 ccf of gas from their estimate on November 20 to their actual reading on December 20.  This gave me a bill of more than $500.  I looked at their numbers and realized that the estimated reading was for the former meter in the basement and the actual reading was for the meter on the outside of the house. 

I was informed that I didn't have a new meter, they had no record of it.  Was I sure? Was I there when they moved it? 

I pointed out that as the old meter was in the basement and they had no access to read it and since they had managed to get an actual reading, that they had to have read the new meter outside.  The new meter that had started out at zero on November 19. 

How did I know what date it was? 

Gee, they had managed to literally take out half the root system of my oak tree and I had pictures and the date in my cell phone.  Yes I knew what date it was. 

Long session on hold.  They had no record of it. Could I go read the meter and tell them what it said?

Sorry, I'm at work and can't go read the meter. But the usage was about nine times what I used the past two years, and that I had the bills in front of me documenting that.  Didn't that throw up any red flags?  Really the house would literally have to be on fire and fueled by natural gas to use that much. 

Well yes it was odd.  Let me check.  Another long session on hold.  The verdict.  Well, we'll have forward this to a couple of departments and we're going to put your account on hold for the next two months.  After we figure this out, we'll probably be adjusting your bill.

Idiots, the gas company is staffed by idiots.  And they have no clue about customer service.

I'm not holding my breath

Almost Finished

Pasta and meatballs casserole for dinner tonight. It took an hour to bake and in all honesty it was really longer than I wanted to wait. I did find a recipe for country style ribs in the slow cooker in a magazine at work.  Silly me I forgot to write it down. So that may be Friday night's dinner. 

I did get the book finished.  Robin's sweater has all the pieces attached together.  Two long seams up the sides and she can try it on.  Most likely by this time next week it should be done.  Yes!!!   And I really need to take pictures.

Time to think about something for me.

Brrr....

Chilly morning, chilly day.  At least I didn't sleep through the alarms this morning like I did yesterday.  And I can tell that the days are getting longer because the sun is still above the horizon when I leave work a little after five.  Hurray spring is coming it just doesn't feel like it.

Right now I'm torn between wanting to finish a book and needing to finish a sweater.  Unfortunately the sweater is at the point where I have to watch my hands so reading at the same time is out.  sigh...

I really feel like cooking something warm and hearty this week, but nothing I want to eat will cook up quickly.  Who wants to wait until 8 pm to eat dinner after working all day.  I have country style ribs thawing in the fridge.  I also have the fixings for Moors and Christians on the counter.  Something tells me I should be looking for slow cooker recipes.  But not tonight.

Sweet

These are blooming in my bedroom and they perfume the entire second floor.  I've been having a lot of success with paperwhites this year.  These stand less than 24" tall and are not at all floppy like forced bulbs can be in the winter.  According to the experts this is because I managed to find a sunny but cooler location to grow them.  I had another pot that I planted in October and grew in the dining room.  They got more than 36" tall and fell over.  There's about a 2 - 3 degree difference in temperature between the two floors.  The first floor is warmer.

I'm betting this one opens completely tomorrow.  Gotta love forced bulbs, they bring spring into the house and make the grey skies less annoying.

Happy New Year

New sign for the studio door.  That says is all.  Ha.

Hope you had a wonderful celebration, and that your favorite teams won.

Happy New Year.

Day 365 - 11 for 11

Well we made our year of 11 for 11.  I spent this last day trying to finish both the NZ sweater and the kimono.  Right now the kimono needs the completed pieces assembled and possibly tried on before I decide how to complete the neckband.  I'm putting it together on the machine and didn't remember that it would be easier to do if I centered the sleeve on the bed first and then the body.  Working on that again.

The NZ sweater is through the shaping on the back yoke.  About another twelve rows and it will be ready for assembly.  I'm concerned that there is enough yarn to knit the edging, but again once it is tried on some decisions can be made.

Looking back at the year what do I have for my 11 minutes a day.  Two Dale of Norway ski sweaters, Nagano and Whistler.  Whistler still needs assembled and some hand work.  Three scarves, five hats, one cowl, two pairs of mittens and two pairs of fingerless mitts, two shawls, a Lopi cardigan, Shaun the Sheep and a ring bearer pillow.  Two NZ sweaters were started but are unfinished, as are a beret, the kimono and a pair of mittens.  Several UFO's were completed, a coat, at least one pair of socks and my oldest UFO, a silk sweater.  So I have a lot to show for the time.

How did you do?

Day 364 - How I Spent My Day Off

Started off the day replacing six damaged needles.  Yes I got the kimono back finished last night.  Tonight I steam blocked it and rehung it on the needles and joined the shoulders and bound off the neck.  I have everything blocked and the sleeves are ready to be joined to the body.  So yes I made my 11.

However the best part of the day has to be the almost four hour lunch that Marjory and I spent at the Olive Garden.  Barb begged off pleading sick and not wanting to share, and she did sound awful.  So we decided that soup and salad were the way to go.  We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and spent the time catching up on life in general, family and old acquaintances. 

We both decided that we really hadn't been in the mood to deal with Christmas this year, if not for her husband there would have been no decorations or a tree at her house.  I countered with a Norfolk Island pine with a handful of German paper stars as my tree, the presents that didn't get wrapped and that there were no cookies despite having laid in a large supply of butter, eggs, sugar and flour.  She was in the same boat with the cookies.  Our best guess is that it's simply been too dark and gloomy, hello solstice and the wettest year on record, for either one of us to get in the holiday spirit. 

We agreed that we both needed to exercise more and I suggested that we look into finding an after work program that we could both tolerate and try doing it together.  I know from experience that I'm much more likely to stick with it, if I have someone else to feed off of.  Hopefully we can find something reasonable somewhere between Grandview and Grove City.

I spent what remained of the day paying bills and running errands, still no movement on the part of the insurance company.  I did talk to the doctors office and passed on the information I received last night.  I think my next stop is HR. 

All in all not a bad day off.

Day 363

It dawns on me that in a couple of days the 11 for 11 challenge will be over, and I'm going to have to be more clever with titles.   Oh well.

I was amused earlier this evening realize that I was running around the house with a hank of yarn draped around my body like a bandolier.  Purple alpaca as ammo belt.  hahaha

Successfully cast on the back of the kimono.  DAK will be doing it's thing to control the patterning this evening.  I was surprised to see that I had trashed a needle on the ribber bed while knitting the hem.  Since I don't have to get up for work in the morning, I'm planning on staying with it until it's complete.  Yeah, three day weekend. 

Lunch with Marjory and Barb tomorrow.  It'll be like old times.  It's been about ten years since we all worked together.  And months since we've all been in the same place at the same time.  There will be much laughter to share.

My good news for the day is that I don't have any broken bones in my wrist.  It only took them a week to let me know.  The bad news is that the insurance company is still refusing to authorize the nsaid that was prescribed on the 21st.  This wrist is never going to heal if we can't get the inflammation under control without making me nauseous or trashing my kidneys.  I've expressed my frustration to the insurance company today.  I am severely right handed.  I want this blasted brace off my hand soon.

Saw this on the BBC feed today.  Enjoy.

Day 362

Knitting resumed on the sweater back.  It relaxed me to the point that I almost fell asleep after about 45 minutes of knitting.  Knitting is the new yoga... at least for me.  Looking forward to Friday off work and lunch with a couple of my former co-workers. 

Winter has arrived here and with it my collection of sweaters.  Since I work near the entrance to the store and the overhead doors, I wear ski sweaters almost every day.  My supervisor asked today if I had made my sweater, (Dale of Norway, Salt Lake City).  He wanted to know if I had knit all the little people too.  Now most of the day shift has seen me working on sweaters. I usually bring them in while I'm working on the last bit of handwork or weaving in ends, so it's no secret that I knit.  I was kind of surprised this morning since he's seen me work on two other Dale sweaters since I've been there. 

How was your day?

Day 361 - Not Knitting

Resting my hands after the push the last several weeks.  Spent some time looking at Ravelry but not really tempted.  My Schacht Matchless is now front and center in the living room, and I have to admit I was tempted to try to turn some purple fluff into singles.  But I'm still focused on finished the sweater. 

Frustrating drive home tonight, the weather is turning from endless rain to snow and the truck decides at the light to hesitate and I managed to flood it.  So I sit for a whole cycle of the light, trying to get it to start without draining the battery.  And when it started I decided to bag it, head home and swap out the truck for the car.  No sliding into work on Columbus' unplowed streets in the morning.

Two more days of work then a three day weekend and lunch with Barb and MT.  It'll be almost like old times, and I'm really looking forward to it.

Day 360

The year is winding down, only five days left.  I really did not want to get up for work this morning.  And all week long there will only be two of us on any given day.  One person is on vacation and the rest of us are rotating a day off as paid holiday, aka New Years Day.  I get Friday and a three day weekend. 

I'm trying really hard this evening to make a CD for a friend and the computer keeps telling me there are problems.  It shouldn't be this difficult.  It keeps refusing to acknowledge that there is a blank one in the drive.

I working on Robin's sweater.  About twelve rows into the back yoke.  Garter stitch in sock yarn takes awhile to to knit several inches.  Less pressure than there was on Saturday.  Hoping to have it put together by the weekend. 

Day 359 - Fröhliche Weihnachten

Christmas wishes via text message from a friend far away started the day off right. Not a cookie was baked, nor a gift wrapped, yet the day was still great.  Some whines from a child wanting springerle or lebkuchen.  But that happens. The mittens were a hit.  The scarf kit less so.  The sweater was appreciated and handed back for completion.

My sister gave me a framed piece of needle punch of a flock of sheep and a bell jar for a house plant.  Now I need to find an appropriate plant.  There was knitting on a scarf and work on the sweater, but much more food, wine and good conversation.  Overall a great day.

Hope yours was too.

Day 358 Christmas Eve

Mom told me on the way home from church tonight that Dad had gone out and bought her Christmas present this morning, but that she had forgotten to get him something. And in fact had forgotten what he said he wanted.  I offered to go online and order him a TSC gift card.

When we got to the house she said something about getting him a new chore coat, and he said he didn't need one and pulled a new Carhardt out of the closet.  Then he pulled me aside and said that Mom had told him that she wanted perfume for Christmas.  He had gone to the drugstore but didn't know which one.  Did I know how to pick perfume?  My advice was smell them and pick one you like.  His solution was to hand me cash so I could pick something out.  This was after 9 tonight.

Now I know that my mom likes Chanel No. 5.  They sell don't that at Walgreens.  And my Dad confessed tonight that he sent home lots of Chanel when he was stationed in France in the 1950's.  He says it was $15 a bottle in France and $50 a bottle in the US at the time, so all the women in the family loved it.  I pointed out that Chanel was a bit more expensive than that these days.

White Diamonds is what she will be getting tomorrow.  His gift card will arrive in the mail.  Me I still need to finish a mitten and wrap everything.  The sweater will be in pieces and on the needles.  Three out of four pieces are complete.

Hope your Christmas Eve is wonderful and Christmas is joyous.  Merry Christmas.

Day 357

The pile of purple alpaca continues to grow.  Two pieces to go and I'm starting worry if there will be enough yarn.  Plan is to knit the back and the see what's left.  I can make it work if the band has to be a different dyelot, although I'm kicking myself, since Barb from Weaver's Loft asked me in September if I was sure I had enough.  She had held a hank in that dyelot back just in case.  Silly me, I told her to sell it.

We'll see.  Yes I made my 11.

Bake quiche for dinner and dug through the stacks of books looking for titles for Marcus and Sandy.  Marc should be busy for a while.  Still looking for a title for Sandy.

Still hoping to get something close to finished on the sweater, so I'm off to knit some more.

Day 356 - 9 Days to Go

There are nine days left in Heather's 11 Minutes for 2011 Challenge.  Nine days of celebrating the joys of fiber related craft and skills.  Have I found it difficult? No, not really I was already pretty firmly addicted to the stuff.  My major challenge has always been documenting it.  I still need to get better about taking pictures of the process rather than just the product.  And I think that's more of an issue of me forcing myself to find some way to make the photos interesting.

Has my writing improved?  You'll have to tell me.  I know that technically I'm a fairly decent writer.  I can actually spell and generally punctuate a sentence correctly.  That doesn't mean that I'm necessarily interesting.  I'm a long time member of the short and sweet club, so I find it somewhat difficult to write volumes on a topic.  I don't talk that way but writing, oh yeah. 

Did I make my 11 today.  Oh yes.  I worked on the sweater yoke at lunch.  And have spent the evening MK a sleeve for the kimono and have started the cast on of it's mate.  Do I think I'll get the Christmas knitting finished in time?  I think it will be tight.  Mittens yes.  Sweater maybe.  Kimono, not assembled before Sunday but probably knit.  3 pieces done, 3 to go.  This employment thing this year has really thrown off my holiday rhythm.  Think about it, I basically have had December pretty wide open for the last several years.  This is a good thing, but I need to adapt.

I hope that your holiday prep is going well.

Comments on the blog.

Day 355 - Light

It's the longest night of the year.  For the next six months the days will only grow longer.  And we welcome the return of the light.

Real candles are glowing in my house. They perfume the air and hold back the dark.

When you look across history, regardless of faith, this is a significant time of the year.  While here in the northern hemisphere the coldest days of winter are yet to come, this is the darkest night and with the return of the light comes hope.  In the tenets of my faith the birth of a child is the symbol of this hope.  And we still celebrate this hope more than two thousand years later.

 Regardless of your beliefs, I wish you and yours the most joyous times in this holiday season.

Peace.

Day 354 - Mission Accomplished

This is the center point of the front of the sweater.  Shaped and short rowed garter stitch form the yoke.  All of the MK is done.  Only handwork remains.  It will be a challenge, but I think it is possible.

This is slowing everything down.  I am overwhelmingly right handed.  Yes I can knit in it.  No it doesn't hurt.  But everything is slowed because of it.